can’t keep promises. sorry

sorry if i can’t  hold on to the promises that i say, said and will say.

my point is, its just hard.  uhm, i think you also know that these promises can really boost up your outlook, even to the point that you are already being unconciously unrealistic. having these broken promises will just make you a lying bastard. you lie to everyone, you lie to yourself.

from the past few months I kinda refrained from promising. If I need or must do something, i dont look for some ancient tree and promise,— i do it. “What if i fail?”, at least I succeeded in not fooling myself.

I posted this entry to remember. I posted this entry to forget.

toodles (i miss saying that)

Charmaine

bOREd…

Hey, brace yourself, because I’m really in the mood to talk and tell stories of my not-so-special life. As I’ve said back in the days, this blog is a pretty boring one man show that will probably kill a person alive. Let’s get into talking, shall we…

This day is excruciatingly boring. Kill me if it’s not the right adjective, but I’m telling you it is. WHAT THE HELL CAN I TELL MORE ABOUT THE WORD “BORING”?

Now we’re talking.

Boring is an overstated term that is commonly used by teenagers when they are at home doing nothing productive to themselves and being trapped with their mom and dad. Am right or am I right?

Reaction: Not all the time, my dad’s cool. I can spend time with him longer than a normal kid COULD do.

Counter Answer: Oh come on! My dad’s pretty cool too, and my mom also. But the “thing” is just not there, they can make things really fun but not always, it is not like what you and your friends do together.

Moreover, BORING is also used when you are with a person that you don’t really like. What ever you and that person do, time is warped. If you do not agree, I don’t know what to call you anymore.

I remember reading a list of things that you do when you are bored, I did a little bit of my share and let us see if I am not the only one having the “bored” symptoms.

1) I eat a lot

2) I sleep in the afternoon, (take note that I’m am not in the growth gap age anymore)

3) I am getting lazier and lazier as time passes.

4) I watch channels that are fashion related.

5) I surf the net and do nothing with it.

6) I always walk.

7) I post blogs.

I can’t do it anymore, it’s so dull.

Need to sleep. Ciao

Charmaine©

THE TOP TEN TALE

Honestly, I don’t do well in school if you compare it to my past records. We can officially call it my all time low. BUT WHO CARES. Lord wants somebody else to have that place, so let it be.

Let it be (Beatles)

But why the hell did I opened up this topic if I really suck in it? Because I experienced something I have never felt before. And it is to get the thing that you really want and worked for a long time.

Since first year, I loved the subject “history” but for some circumstances and wrong mindset, I can’t get on the top ten of that particular subject. Until one morning, card day in my third year, I went to the grounds for the mass. Half way there, I took a small peek on the araling panlipunan top 10 (wishing for a little miracle). I can’t see the names clearly but then I got the glimpse of my surname, and I said, “What was tha…” I went closer to the list AND I SAW MY NAME ON IT. I actually counter checked my memory bank if I have a batch mate that has a name like mine, thank goodness my brain said “0 results”. I didn’t even notice that I already slipped a smile on my face.

The feeling was better than getting a gold medal for a thing that you don’t really like. I learned a lot from that morning, and I gained more respect for myself and for the people that succeed on the field they love, and sympathize with those individuals that are still a prison of their closed hearts.

it’s been a long time.

I thought i’ll survived the crazy world of multiply… this is a news for me, I can’t stand it. Its too much. Its too close [to my friends]. Its too open [for the strangers].

So im going back to my first love.

Moderator: awww…..

I’m having a new vision now, a vision of … NOTHING POPS IN MY MIND.

well , anyway as I was saying, there will be new things coming in your way, not really that new. Just things that will blow our mind, something I have never done before.

Goodluck. For the new beginning!

charmaine

now we’re back in business.

now im back to my dreams, regained my aspirations, fasten my balls, cuz were off to another ride.

sounds exciting? not really.. just cracking bones.

i need to do this blog for fifteen minutes so.. hmmm.. im kinda pressured, why? i wont tell you! i really sound ecstatic today but believe me im not. i need to do a one-man-show in front of the whole world and you expect me to do it great?!

im picking up where i last dropped it.. i have decided to step up and be me again. this optimistic kind of alien we always knew.. nothing will change.. no one have to change.

im starting my new script called “the mime”, which is all about a girl who wants to be a silent performer but is blocked by her own family and friends.. this story will be all about determination and laughs even for the hard times. ill have a little twist at the end,.. some reality bites.

ill have updates for this, i think post some post too, and it will be appreciated if you can post comments.. cuz hey! this is our story.

got to go. charmaine

toodles.

gee… time’s running out. grow up little ms. dreamhead.

i just watched “great expectations”. the movie where a boy is so in love with his childhood friend. but then she left. well, im not here to tell the whole story, im here to think about something, something that the story left me.. hmmm. hanging.

there was this part where the guy, chose to grow up and forget about the past, –all his dreams, fears, aspirations, expectations.

i think its time to grow up too.. all my life i’ve been longing to be someone that will leave a legacy, i have wanted to see the sunny side of the world, a life that my inspirations promised me… in my dreams it is a heartbeat away. in reality, its better unknown.

i want to be this, i want to be that. even my mother ends up laughing at the absurdity of my spontaneous mood swings. i want to do everything that i can, play piano, direct movies, dance ballet, sing, talk, walk paint.. i will share everything to the world… but things do get scary when life tells you to do things that will make you alive, practically.

everyone knows everything, that is why everyone is greedy. living without anything in a harsh world.

so tell me. do i have grow up? do we have to grow up?

.

if we’ll just listen, breakthroughs and phenomenons will be as normal as cereals.

copycat.

i am really having a hard time watching the days go by. though it looks simpler thinking about the concept than experiencing the real drama. forever is not as good as everybody thought it was. its an oblivion, it is a more complicated version of watching the days go by.

so my advice for this summer, live the life like it was meant for stars. then die afterwards when the school starts..

******************************************************************************************************************

by this very moment, im solving a Rubik’s cube (well besides typing in the computer). it is the most popular and clever puzzle ever made. but as i solve it again and again, day by day, its not really that hard when you already know the algorithm. solving real problems with real solutions is not even close to the cube’s intellectual spin. its way to far.

i really hope my family wont let go just because of these problems. so help us god.

shoot!! being bored is tiring, no, really!!

whoo…. summer!

so tingin wala tlgang dapat ikatuwa pag summer.. unless marami kng pera. (halata naman na ako wala db?)

at dhl wala akong ginagawa, ginugugol ko ang aking munting panahon sa panonood ng pelikula..

gumawa naman ako ng listahan, na sa tingin ko ay magandang panuorin ngaung summer..

-ghost rider

-how to make an american quilt

-step up2

-almost famous

-drum line

-rock star

-persuit of happyness

-north country

-bubble boy

and xempre..

kasunod nyan ay mga summer song (well bukod sa sunburn)

dont let anyone trash you on the side cuz its summer and youre legally worthless!

sorry lolo, and yeah.. goodbye.

cguro nga.. mali ako nun.

theres a lot of it where it came from.

matagal tagal na rin akong hindi nakapagpost. well, kaya lng naman ako bumisita kc gusto kong malaman mo na nagkamali na naman ako.

namatay ung lolo ko nung Lingo. (hindi to tulad nung iniisip mo. hindi ko sya pinatay) alam ng isang kaibigan ko na matagal ko nang hinihiling na mamatay xa. pero nung mangyari yun, ni wala sa hingap na inakala kong luluha ako pag namatay xa. i guess you can really never tell what will happen.

isa lang talaga nasa isip ko nun. sana mapatawad nya ako sa lahat ng nagawa at inisop ko na masama sa kanya. please learn from my mistake, para hindi ka magsisi pagnawala na xa.

oi paborito ko to oh.. i can sing it to anybody and even to myself when i really need help.

confused. but happy! but confused.

i hate myself.

i want to change, well i guess not for myself..

for the good of everyone else.

well thats not change,  thats faking people in full force.

toodles.